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processor and typing noisily.
He heard the bedroom door slam. Gabe was probably crying. The smug satisfaction from
winning the fight melted into an ache. He typed crankily for a while longer until the knock
came on the door.
Sean realized he'd never gotten dressed beyond the sweatpants and robe. He took a quick
sniff of himself. Fortunately the apartment was cool enough that he hadn't sweated.
He opened the door to find the building superintendent there.
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"Mr. Dempsey, is there a problem? The neighbors above you and next to you both called
me that you two were fighting very loudly."
Sean sighed. "Yeah. We had a fight. Gabe forgot to pay a couple bills and we're without
water until Monday. It's my fault he forgot." Somehow, it was easier to confess his part to a
near-stranger than the man he loved.
"That's no excuse. You're just lucky they didn't call the cops. You two are damn noisy at
weird hours." When Sean opened his mouth, the super waved it off. "We know about the
PTSD and nightmares, so nobody calls those in. Just keep it down, okay? Mr. Herne can't be
evicted, but you certainly can."
"Yes, sir." Sean was relieved when the super left. He was tempted to go make things up to
Gabe. Instead, he typed for another hour. Then, he took their big soup kettle down to the
laundry room and filled it with water. Once back, he set it on the stove to heat.
Steeling himself, he knocked on the bedroom door. His stomach reminded him he hadn't
eaten yet and it was nearly noon. He figured that was the source of the sick feeling.
"Gabe?" he asked softly. He felt ridiculous. His father had never apologized. But this time,
Sean knew he'd been wrong. He'd totally overreacted out of guilt and anger. Now, he just
hoped Gabe was willing to forgive him.
No answer came from the other side of the door, but he heard wheels on the wooden
floor.
"I'm...I'm sorry." He moved closer to the door and then pressed his hand to it. "I know
that doesn't make it any better and it can't stop you remembering I said some awful things.
But I am sorry and I do love you and I want to make it up to you if I can."
The door opened and Gabe looked up at him. "I fucked up."
Sean slid down to sit on the floor. "Yeah, but that only gives me the right to say, 'Hey,
baby, you fucked up, let's fix it.' Not to go off on you to the point the super comes up and
gives me a talking to."
Gabe rolled a little closer. "Let s not do that again?"
Sean breathed out. "Not ever." He realized he was shaking. "I haven't had my meds today.
I'm such a junky." He pecked Gabe and got up. He dry-swallowed a valium from the
bathroom.
Gabe picked up the end of the cash that was lying around. "Not a hopeless one."
Sean shook his head. "Baby, I am so hooked on this junk that I'm just feeding it to the
monkey right now. Most of the time, it doesn't do anything for me mentally, just makes the
shakes and panic responses stop."
"We'll get you off of it." Gabe sounded distracted as he picked up all the small change,
emptied from their pockets after laundry and trips to Kim's and Goodwill. Sean came back
down to the floor and helped him. Gabe finally looked at him. "All seven dollars and thirty-
three cents. I guess we get no steak dinner now."
Sean took the box and set it back on the shelf. "Babe, listen, I'll cover it. I have money in
my account."
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Gabe wrapped his arms around Sean's neck and pulled him close. "I'll pay you back in two
weeks."
Sean shook his head. "Don't worry about it." Unable to resist Gabe's mouth so close to his,
he pressed his lips to Gabe's, hoping he didn't get bitten. "Are we all right?"
"I think so?"
"I love you. I'm sorry I said such awful things to you. I know they hurt."
Gabe hugged him tighter. "Fucker... now you make me cry."
Sean just held him. "'S okay. You've seen me cry. I've got water heating up for a sponge
bath. I feel grody. Want me to check it? Get two washrags ready."
Gabe rolled into the kitchen carrying towels, washcloths, soap and shampoo. He set them
in one chair and climbed into the other.
When Sean came over for another kiss, Gabe said, "I'm sorry I fucked up."
Sean pulled him in closer, feeling his warmth and smelling him, pure Gabe, just a little
stronger than usual. "Yeah. But it's fixable and fixed. Not costing anything extra either, thanks
to your voice and a fine patriot at the water company. We'll just pretend we're camping out
this weekend."
"Yeah." Gabe cuddled closer.
Sean was sure he didn't like the relieved sound in Gabe's voice. So he kissed his lover,
very gently. "I'm sorry I have bad days."
"'S'okay. We both do."
Sean squeezed him. "Got the washrags? This part should be fun at least."
"Yep, towels are in the kitchen, too. I even brought the soap and shampoo."
Sean turned up the heat, just enough that they wouldn't get chilled while they were
naked. "If I'd been thinking, I'd have put something in the oven to bake. Then the kitchen
would be nice." He checked the water. It was just hot enough to be perfect. He turned the
stove off.
Gabe walked in and levered himself into a chair. He caught Sean in passing and pulled
him down for a kiss. "Love you, Sean."
Sean stretched the kiss out, the tension no longer knotting his back nor the anger
burning across his forehead and in his stomach. He helped Gabe unbutton his shirt while he
did. The day was going better already.
"Gabe, I love you too." He kissed Gabe again, lingering and playing with Gabe's tongue.
He breathed deep of Gabe when they parted. "I'm tempted not to let you wash. You smell so
good."
Gabe laughed. "Primitive. I'm all greasy."
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