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gentleman of the first consideration in the empire, and the celebrated Mr.
Shilling, of the firm of Pound, Shilling, and Pence. There was certainly a
fine air of polite life in the congregation, but a little too much
idolatry. Sir Solomon and Mr. Shilling were both received with
distinction, which was very proper, when we remember their elevated rank;
but the genuflexions and chaunting met with my very unqualified
disapprobation.'"
"Sir Solomon and the other personage you mention were a little _pursy_,
perhaps," observed Mr. Sharp, "which destroyed their grace."
"I disapprove of all kneeling, on general principles, sir. If we kneel to
one, we shall get to kneel to another, and no one can tell where it will
end. 'The exclusive manner in which the congregation were seated in pews,
with sides so high that it was difficult to see your nearest neighbour;
and these pews' (Mr. Dodge pronounced this word _poohs_,) 'have often
curtains that completely enclose their owners, a system of selfishness
that would not be long tolerated in _Ameriky_.'"
"Do individuals own their pews in America?" inquired Mr. Sharp.
"Often," returned John Effingham; always, "except in those particular
portions of the country where it is deemed invidious, and contrary to the
public rights, to be better off than one's neighbour, by owning any thing
that all the community has not a better claim to than its proprietor."
"And canot the owner of a pew curtain it, with a view to withdrawn into it
himself at public worship?"
"America and England are the antipodes of each other in all these things.
I dare say, now, that you have come among us with an idea that our liberty
is so very licentious, that a man may read a newspaper by himself?"
"I confess, certainly, to that much," returned Mr. Sharp, smiling.
"We shall teach him better than this, Mr. Dodge, before we let him
depart. No, sir, you have very contracted ideas of liberty, I perceive.
With us every thing is settled by majorities. We eat when the majority
eats; drink, when the majority drinks; sleep, when the majority sleeps;
pray, when the majority prays. So far from burying ourselves in deep wells
of pews, with curtains round their edges, we have raised the floors,
amphitheatre fashion, so that every body can see every body; have taken
away the sides of the pews, which we have converted into free and equal
seats, and have cut down the side of the pulpit so that we can look at the
clergyman; but I understand there is actually a project on foot to put the
congregation into the pulpit, and the parson into the aisle, by way of
letting the latter see that he is no better than he should be. This would
be a capital arrangement, Mr. Dodge, for the 'Four-and-twenty fiddlers all
in a row.'"
The editor of the Active Inquirer was a little distrustful of John
Effingham, and he was not sorry to continue his extracts, although he was
obliged to bring himself still further under the fire of his assailant.
"'This morning,' Mr. Dodge resumed, I stepped into the coffee-room of the
'Shovel and Tongs,' public-house, to read the morning paper, and, taking a
seat by the side of a gentleman who was reading the 'Times,' and drawing
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to me the leaves of the journal, so that it would be more convenient to
peruse, the man insolently and arrogantly demanded of me, 'What the devil
I meant?' This intolerance in the English character is owing to the
narrowness of the institutions, under which men come to fancy liberty
applies to persons instead of majorities.'"
"You perceive, Mr. Sharp," said John Effingham, "how much more able a
stranger is to point out the defects of national character than a native.
I dare say that in indulging your individuality, hitherto, you have
imagined you were enjoying liberty."
"I fear I have committed some such weakness--but Mr. Dodge will have the
goodness to proceed."
The editor complied as follows:--"'Nothing has surprised me more than the
grovelling propensities of the English on the subject of names. Thus this
very inn, which in America would be styled the 'Eagle Tavern,' or the
'Oriental or Occidental Hotel,' or the 'Anglo-Saxon Democratical
Coffee-house,' or some other equally noble or dignified appellation, is
called the 'Shovel and Tongs.' One tavern, which might very appropriately
be termed 'The Saloon of Peace,' is very vulgarly called 'Dolly's
Chop-house.'"
All the gentlemen, not excepting Mr. Sharp, murmured their disgust at so
coarse a taste. But most of the party began now to tire of this pretending
ignorance and provincial vulgarity, and, one by one, most of them soon
after left the table. Captain Truck, however, sent for Mr. Leach, and
these two worthies, with Mr. Dodge and the spurious baronet, sat an hour
longer, when all retired to their berths.
Chapter XXXII.
I'll meet thee at Philippi.
SHAKESPEARE.
Happy is the man who arrives on the coast of New York, with the wind at
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