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Instead, he was startled to see the Aztec god going through strong reactions
of a decidedly electronic nature.
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One of its lizard heads had been blown clear off, exposing wires and computer
components. Most of the arrows had bounced off its chest, but the ones that
had connected were now fountaining showers of sparks. The snakes wiggled and
squirmed, bolts of static electricity snapping between them.
"Argh! Zap! Snap! Crackle! Pop!" crackled Cue-tip. "Kill the infidels! Bowb
the Emperor! Fie Fi Fo Fum
Fizzle!"
It then slowly keeled over, spasming and spuming fire and sparks, to hit the
ground with a decidedly metallic crash.
"You aboriginal Indian idiots!" cried Chief Bluster. "You shot the god."
"This I do believe," moaned Buffalo Billabong, "Is what might be called in the
old outback definitely bad news!"
"Infidels!" exhorted the clown-cloud god, zipping over on its cloud. "They
must not be allowed to escape.
My wrath is mighty, let me tell you, and there are going to be some roasted
redskins around here if "
It was an ungodly sight, for the god never finished its goddamn sentence.
Because a sudden arc of energy blasted up from the wreckage of the fallen
Cue-tip, an arc of corruscating crapola, connecting with the cloud and
exploding in its interior with a massive bang. Instantly coils and transistors
rained down, along with a great splash of water that slammed onto the Indians,
dousing them thoroughly and plopping them headlong into an instant lake of
mud.
"Robots!" said Elliot. "Bill, both those gods were robots! Do you know what
that means?"
"Not good! If this means that I'm back on the Planet of the Robot Slaves, then
we are in for it."
"We're still in the same place, you idiot. There has got to be an explanation
but this is not the time to worry about it! If you want to worry, look over
there keep moving!"
Bill looked. Sure enough, there in the canyon wall was the tunnel entrance. A
section of the rock wall was rolling back with a grating, rock-against-metal
sound.
"See!" said Bill. "What did I tell you?"
"Well don't just lay collapsed there like a dead bug! We've got to get moving
before those Indians recover!"
Bill was thus properly motivated. He scrambled up from the ground and galloped
for all he was worth toward the beckoning cave entrance, Elliot thundering
along at his side. But the portal was only ajar enough to allow one and a half
persons in. Driven on by fear and the urgent sense of survival, the two hit
the opening at precisely the same time, wedging themselves into the opening
like comedians in a really crappy movie. But there was no polite give-or-take
now, no you-first-old-buddy stuff here.
"Troopers first!" shouted Bill, giving Elliot the elbow as hard as he could.
"No! I'm the Time Cop! I declare this a priority order and insist that I go
first!"
After a few moments of intense discussion on the matter, and some desperate
shoving, their mutual desire to save their butts drove them into close embrace
and popped them through. They stumbled on into the
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Bill, the Galactic Hero on the Planet of The Hippies From Hell darkened
tunnel, Elliot falling flat on his face on a metallic floor and Bill smashing
into a bulkhead.
The tunnel door slammed behind them.
Bill immediately smelled the difference. Whereas the outside had been fresh
and dry and desertish, sort of smelling like standing in front of a good air
conditioner, this dimly lit corridor smelled old, metallic and musty with
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just a trace of pizza in the air. In short, it smelled like the infamous old
Italian starship Bill had once served on, from the planet Mondo Pizzaiola, the
S. S. KAKABENE.
"Wait a moment," said Bill, climbing uncertainly to his feet. "Starship! This
place smells like the corridor of a starship!"
"Exactly, Bill," said Elliot, rubbing his nose. "That's why I pointed out the
wobbling sun."
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