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Disgusted, Hymie snaps back, You know, son, if you carry on like this, you will amount to nothing.
Wow, Dad, says Herschel, you really do understand.
Swami Deva Herschel has only been in Poona for a week, when he meets a gorgeous Ma, and
invites her out to dinner. They go to the Regency Hotel and feast on Italian spaghetti, Japanese
sushi, and French wine.
For dessert, they choose German chocolate cake and finish up with Brazilian coffee.
When the waiter brings them the bill, Herschel finds that he has left his wallet at home. So he takes
out a picture of Osho and hands it to the waiter.
What is this? demands the waiter.
THIS, replies Herschel, is my Zen master card!
Granma Murphy is eighty-five years old. She tires easily, has little appetite and is sometimes
confused mentally. So her son, Paddy, calls for the doctor. He arrives shortly and goes up to
Zen: The Quantum Leap From Mind to No-Mind 39 Osho
CHAPTER 4. ZEN IS AS SIMPLE AS THE TASTE OF TEA
granma s room where he undresses her, lies her down on the bed and gives her a complete physical
examination. Half an hour later, the doctor comes downstairs.
There is no need to worry, he explains, there is nothing really wrong with her except her age. She
will be all right.
Paddy is very relieved and goes upstairs to see her.
Well, mother, he asks, how did you like the doctor?
So, he was the doctor, was he? says granma with a smile. I thought he was a bit naughty for the
priest.
Little Ernie says to his mother, Mom, do dogs have spare parts?
Don t be silly, replies his mother, how on earth could dogs have spare parts? They are alive.
Well, then, says Ernie, why did Dad tell Uncle Joe that when you go to visit your sister next week
he is going to screw the ass off the bitch next door?
Rupesh, beat the drum.
(Drumbeat)
(Gibberish)
Rupesh...
(Drumbeat)
Be silent, close your eyes.
Be in.
No movement.
Be as still as a stone buddha.
Rupesh, beat the drum.
(Drumbeat)
Everybody falls dead.
Let the body breathe;
you be as deep within yourself as possible.
Zen: The Quantum Leap From Mind to No-Mind 40 Osho
CHAPTER 4. ZEN IS AS SIMPLE AS THE TASTE OF TEA
This is the quantum leap
from mind to no-mind.
This is the message for which
Bodhidharma has come from the West
to China.
The message is:
it is you;
it is in.
Rupesh, beat the drum.
(Drumbeat)
Come back to life as totally as possible,
alive, fresh.
A few may still be in their graves.
For them a special beat...
(Drumbeat)
That s good.
At least it will make the drums enlightened.
Okay, Maneesha?
Yes, Osho.
Can we celebrate now?
YES!
Zen: The Quantum Leap From Mind to No-Mind 41 Osho
CHAPTER 5
Can a circle be more circular?
15 June 1988 pm in Gautam the Buddha Auditorium
BELOVED OSHO,
BASO SAID TO HIS MASTER, NANGAKU, THE WAY IS FORMLESS. HOW CAN WE SEE IT
WELL?
NANGAKU ANSWERED, IT IS LIKE THE EYE OF THE LAW, POSSESSED BY THE GROUND OF
MIND SEEING CLEARLY THE WAY, THE SAMADHI OF NO-FORM.
BASO SAID, CAN IT PROGRESS OR DECAY?
NANGAKU REPLIED, IF IT IS SEEN AS PROGRESSING AND DECAYING, BECOMING FIRM
AND DISPERSING, IT IS NOT SEEN.
ANOTHER MASTER, ENKEI, WAS ASKED BY A MONK, IT IS SAID THAT IF WE SEE THE FORM
OF THINGS, WE SEE THE MIND. IF WE TAKE A LANTERN AS FORM, WHAT IS THE MIND?
ENKEI SAID, YOU DON T UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF THE ANCIENTS.
THE MONK ASKED, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THE ANCIENTS?
ENKEI SAID, THE LANTERN IS THE MIND.
IN ANOTHER INCIDENT, THE MASTER, HOGEN, POINTED TO SOME BAMBOOS, AND SAID
TO A MONK, DO YOU SEE THEM?
42
CHAPTER 5. CAN A CIRCLE BE MORE CIRCULAR?
I SEE THEM, REPLIED THE MONK.
DO THEY COME TO THE EYE, OR DOES THE EYE GO TO THEM? ASKED HOGEN.
I HAVE NO IDEA AT ALL, SAID THE MONK.
HOGEN GAVE UP AND WENT AWAY.
Vimal, the first thing you have to understand is that by becoming a dangerous, ferocious animal
you gave migraine to poor Maneesha. Remember it always, falling below humanity and then sitting
behind a poor girl... It is fortunate that she is still alive, you have done everything to kill her.
As a gorilla you were dancing with her: I had left the place, just because I did not want to see the
dance of a gorilla. And you see the result now? Be ashamed! Give your gorilla dress to Sardar
Gurudayal Singh; it does not suit you. It will suit Sardar Gurudayal Singh anywhere. He can go
into the city and freak out people. He does it anyway, but in a gorilla dress, and with his laughter...
Sardar Gurudayal Singh!
(HIS LOUD LAUGHTER IS HEARD FROM THE BACK OF THE HALL.)
Take that gorilla dress from Vimal tomorrow. And as the dress reaches you, the migraine of
Maneesha will disappear. It is not migraine, it is simply fear that who knows that gorilla may
be sitting behind her again.
You have asked, Vimal:
BASO SAID TO HIS MASTER, NANGAKU,
THE WAY IS FORMLESS. HOW CAN WE SEE IT WELL?
The question is very logical and rational. If the way is formless, obviously you cannot see it. To see
anything it has to be objective, with a form. If it has no form, if it is infinite, how can you see it?
Baso in his own right later on proved to be one of the greatest masters, but even while he
was a disciple of Nangaku, his master, his questions were immensely important. THE WAY IS
FORMLESS. That s what Buddha said, so there is every support for his question. And now he is
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