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hope you don't think that I think abortion is an easy decision, even though
it's the best and simplest solution.
Best and simplest for whom?
For me, I know. Sometimes you have to look out for yourself. When I left my
job and ran off to New York to be with Nicolae, I thought I was finally doing
something for Hattie. Now I don't like what I did for Hattie, so I need to do
something else for
Hattie. Understand?
Rayford had nodded. He understood all too well. He had to remind himself that
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she was not a believer. She would not be thinking about the good of anyone but
herself.
Why should she? Hattie, just humor me for a moment and assume that that
pregnancy, that 'it' you're carrying, is already a child. It's your child.
Perhaps you don't like its father. Perhaps you'd hate to see what kind of a
person its father might produce. But that baby is your blood relative too. You
already have maternal feelings, or you wouldn't be in such turmoil about this.
My question is, who's looking out for that child's best interest? Let's say a
wrong has been done. Let's say it was immoral for you to live with Nicolae
Carpathia outside of marriage. Let's say this pregnancy, this child, was
produced from an immoral union. Let's go farther.
Let's say that those people are right who consider Nicolae Carpathia the
Antichrist.
I'll even buy the argument that perhaps you regret the idea of having a child
at all and would not be the best mother for it. I don't think you can shirk
responsibility for it the way a rape or incest victim might be justified in
doing.
But even in those cases, the solution isn't to kill the innocent party, is
it?
Something is wrong, really wrong, and so people defend their right to choose.
What they choose, of course, is not just the end of a pregnancy, not just an
abortion, it's the death of a person. But which person? One of the people who
made a mistake?
One of the people who committed a rape or incest? Or one of the people who got
pregnant out of wedlock? No, the solution is always to kill the most innocent
party of all.
Rayford had gone too far, and he had known it. He had glanced up at Hattie
holding her hands over her ears, tears streaming down her face. He had touched
her arm, and she had wrenched away. He had leaned further and grabbed her
elbow. Hattie, please don't pull away from me. Please don't think I said any
of that to hurt you personally. Just chalk it up to somebody standing up for
the rights of someone who can't defend him or herself. If you won't stand up
for your own child, somebody has to.
With that, she had wrenched fully away from him and had buried her face in her
hands and wept. Rayford had been angry with himself. Why couldn't he learn?
How could he sit there spouting all that? He believed it, and he was convinced
it was
God's view. It made sense to him. But he also knew she could reject it out of
hand simply because he was a man. How could he understand? No one was
suggesting what he could or could not do with his own body. He had wanted to
tell her he understood that, but again, what if that unborn child was a
female? Who was standing up for the rights of that woman's body?
Hattie had not spoken to him for hours. He knew he deserved that. But, he
wondered, how much time is there to be diplomatic? He had no idea what her
plans were. He could only plead with her when he had the chance. Hattie, he
had said.
She hadn't looked at him. Hattie, please let me just express one more thing
to you.
She had turned slightly, not looking fully at him, but he had the impression
she would at least listen.
I want you to forgive me for anything I said that hurt you personally or
insulted you. I hope you know me well enough by now to know that I would not
do that intentionally. More important, I want you to know that I am one of a
few friends you have in the Chicago area who loves you and wants only the best
for you. I wish you'd think about stopping in and seeing us in Mt. Prospect on
your way back. Even if I'm not there, even if I have to go on back to New
Babylon before you, stop in and see Chloe and Buck. Talk to Amanda. Would you
do that?
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Now she had looked at him. She had pressed her lips together and shook her
head apologetically. Probably not. I appreciate your sentiments, and I accept
your apology. But no, probably not.
And that's the way it had been left. Rayford was angry with himself. His
motives were pure, and he believed his logic was right. But maybe he had
counted too much on his own personality and style and not enough on God
himself to work in Hattie's heart. All he could do now was pray for her.
When the plane finally stopped at the gate, Rayford helped Hattie pull her bag
from the overhead rack. She thanked him. He didn't trust himself to say
anything more.
He had apologized enough.
Hattie wiped her face one more time and said, Rayford, I know you mean well.
But you drive me nuts sometimes. I should be glad nothing ever really
developed between us.
Thanks a lot, Rayford said, feigning insult.
I'm serious, she said. You know what I mean. We're just too far apart in
age or something, I guess.
I guess, Rayford said. So, that was how she summarized it. Fine. That wasn't
the issue at all, of course. He may not have handled it the best way, but he
knew trying to fix it now would accomplish nothing.
As they emerged from the gateway, he saw Amanda's welcome smile. He rushed to
her, and she held him tight. She kissed him passionately but pulled away
quickly. I
didn't mean to ignore you, Hattie, but frankly I was more eager to see
Rayford.
I understand, Hattie said flatly, shaking hands and looking away.
Can we drop you somewhere? Amanda said.
Hattie chuckled. Well, my bags are checked through to Denver. Can you drop me
there?
Oh, I knew that! Amanda said. Can we walk you to your gate?
No, I'll be fine. I know this airport. I've got a little layover here, and
I'm just gonna try to relax.
Rayford and Amanda said their good-byes to Hattie, and she was cordial enough,
but as they walked away, she caught Rayford's eye. She pursed her lips and
shook her head. He felt miserable.
Rayford and Amanda walked hand-in-hand, then arm-in-arm, then arms around each
other's waist, all the way to the escalators that led down to baggage claim.
Amanda hesitated and pulled Rayford back from the moving stairway. Something
on a TV monitor had caught her eye. Ray, she said, come look at this.
They stood watching as a CNN/GNN report summarized the extent of the damage
from the war around the world. Already, Carpathia was putting his spin on it.
The announcer said, World health care experts predict the death toll will
rise to more than 20 percent internationally. Global Community Potentate
Nicolae Carpathia has announced formation of an international health care
organization that will take precedence over all local and regional efforts. He
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