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spread. Since that time all who were faced with a challenge from his clients have capitulated their cases,
rather than face a certain loss."
"Can you show me his last fight?" Looking around the stone walls and embroidered tapestries filling the
chamber I started thinking MGM'sRobin Hood. Probably not.
But the princess surprised me. "My mother's mirror can display all his bouts. But to what purpose? You
have said you are no champion!"
I sensed another bout of tears coming on. I moved to head them off.
"Now look here. Look at me. Do I look like some soft actress fop? These muscles," I flexed my biceps.
Not unimpressive, especially to a sheltered princess. "You don't think they just grew this way, do you? I
won't back out of this deal unless I'm sure I don't have a chance. So turn on your magic mirror, princess,
and let's look at the bad news."
And so she does. And the news wasn't all that bad. This Ursus guy was big and ugly, no doubts. His
face looked stepped on and his arms had more hair than my . . . um, anyway, his gut hung way past his
belt and while he struck with real power he was fairly slow on his feet. And he used a wide, slow
broadsword, doubling up his hands for extra power or leaving his off hand to punch or grapple. He liked
to move in on his guy but none of his opponents really tried to work around him and they were mostly
armed like he was.
After watching all six of his duels about three times each, I had no doubts. I could take him. Except for
the little matter of the spell.
"Just how do these spell thingies work? I mean what does the spell do to make this Ursus so invincible?"
The princess looked pensive and bit her lip at me. After a second or so she gave out a hesitant
explanation. "It's not really a spell of protection. That could be countered. He paid a fen witch to cast a
spell of prophecy. She pronounced that no single opponent would ever defeat him in battle."
"It must give him a real edge in a duel, knowing that. I mean confidence is important in these things." I
ventured.
"Yes, indeed. And his opponents have also been confident of his victory. That has doubtless been a
great boon to his career," the princess allowed.
"So if he thought we had his magic beat, he'd be behind a step, right?"
"If we had his magic beat? Perhaps but we . . ." She was backing off.
"I can take him!" I pronounced. "Provided you and I can agree to a fee." I gave my most evil grin. I had
her squirming.
"I have seen your fees. If you win, I will pay it!" She looked quite nervous about this. I had forgotten
about Morgen's part in my show. That wasn't going to be near enough anyway. I decided to twist the
knife a little.
"That was a performance, not a fee. For a real bout at which I'll be risking my actual life and limbs, I
require far more."
"What more?" The tears were welling again, but now I was armored. This much she had coming.
"I'll be saving not just your life but your throne! As such, additional payment is appropriate. Gold!
Jewels! As much as I can carry. And I want some assurances. Medical coverage for any wounds I
receive!" If she thought she could work this off in bed, she had another think coming.
"Done!" She cried out with such enthusiasm I wondered what perverse pleasures she thought I would
demand. Another thing came to my mind.
Glancing down at my barely clad body with its chain mail cutaway bustier and chain and elastic thong, I
grimaced. The only gear I had worth a hoot was my sword, a beautiful Persian-style scimitar I got for
modeling for a knife-maker's catalog. The rest of my gear was costume junk. "I'll need some real armor.
With padding. And some boots. Nothing too heavy, but I'll be damned if I am going to fight in this
ridiculous bedroom gear!"
"My guards have a complete armory, and the royal cobbler can do wonders! Is that all?" The princess
was looking quite relieved.
"Just one more thing. Does your highness have a name?"
"Serenity." She quivered as she gave it. But she looked me straight in the eye while she did.
So I said, "Princess Serenity, if you agree to these conditions, I'll be your champion."
And so I was.
It was not all peaches and schnapps from there on in, but it went pretty well. She pulled a silk rope
which rang a bell and summoned a goggle-eyed servant, which reminded me of my state of dress. For
about a second, after which I figured he'd survive it and forgot about it while Serenity summoned the
royal cobbler. He measured me for footwear while I explained to him what I wanted. I don't know if his
sweating was at my urgent requirements or my nubile proximity but he got his business over with in a
hurry and that was done.
The armory was harder as there were about a half dozen guys there, healthy young guys, and they made
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